Where did you get a picture of my penis
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
