is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
