never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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