Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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