Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This is my gift to your gina
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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