Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
