Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
