still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
