it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Green mimosas i think yes
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
