brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
