I feel like abortions should bother me more
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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