Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
