Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
