I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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