Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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