I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
