talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
