you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
