1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
