Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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