my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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