That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
