Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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