I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
