He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
