Already got asked if we're dating
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
