some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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