i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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