I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
