do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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