So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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