did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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