Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
