I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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