i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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