I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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