4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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