I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
