we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
