I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's never too late to be topless.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
