the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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