i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
