I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
