Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
