she was so not down for the gang bang
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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