Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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