your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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