Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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