She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
