I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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